As the weather cools, the daylight hours shorten, and the pages of the calendar seem to be flying by, many of us may be experiencing a greater amount of stress than usual. If you’re in school, this can be related to the increased workload of the mid-term exam period and ending of the semester. Depending in what industry you work, the changing of the seasons may mean more hours and responsibility for you or less financial stability. Changes in daylight hours and weather often also mean changes in routines and leisure activities. The holiday season also seems to creep into our collective awareness earlier and earlier every year (I’m sure you’ve seen the Halloween and Christmas displays up in stores beginning some before Labor Day).
Although the holiday season can be a joyous and happy time, it can also be stressful. If the sight of wreaths and twinkle lights brings you a sense of dread, rather than delight, you are not alone. Many people experience what we colloquially refer to as the holiday blues. Changes in routine, pressures to make the holidays special by giving gifts or living up to high expectations, and budget concerns can take their toll. Getting together with family can be difficult if relationships in your family are strained or there are significant conflicts (such as differing political views, custody battles, histories of abuse, etc.). The holidays can be particularly challenging if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, live far away from friends or family, lost your job, or struggle with substance use or other mental health concerns.
Here are a number of practical strategies to navigate the holiday season from the Mayo Clinic and the American Psychological Association.
Be honest about your feelings- It is okay not to feel happy or excited about the holiday season. You can express your emotions, whatever they are, even if they are feelings of sadness, anger, or grief.
You don’t have to do this alone- Social support can come in many forms including friends, family, chosen family, your local or online community, faith group, coworkers, or support groups. Try reaching out with a text, a call or a video chat. It can also be helpful to shift the attention from yourself to others by volunteering for a cause that is important to you.
Manage your expectations- You might be feeling a lot of pressure to make the holiday perfect or keep old traditions alive. This can set us up for stress in the days leading up to the holiday and disappointment when our expectations don’t match up to our reality. It is important to keep the holidays in perspective. A gingerbread house worthy of an episode of Nailed It doesn’t have to feel like a failure, it can become a memory you and your family have a good laugh about for years to come. Further, the food, gifts, and decorations are all nice to have but the material aspects of the holidays are dressing for what matters most- time with loved ones.
Respect your budget- Between special foods, decorations, gifts, travel, and festive apparel, the holiday season can easily put a strain on your budget. Carefully consider what you can realistically afford. You might talk with friends and family about modifying your gift giving. For example, you can pull names from a hat rather than giving a gift to every person. You might also consider homemade gifts such as baking cookies, knitting or crocheting hats, scarves, or mittens, or using any of your other creative talents.
Saying NO is OK- Respect your limits and try not to overextend yourself. You might be worried about disappointing people or feeling guilty, but agreeing to too many events, projects, etc. can lead to unnecessary stress and financial strain. Remember that you have the same 24 hours in the day during the holiday season that you have during the rest of the year. You still have to attend to your health, home, and other responsibilities. When you add too many projects or activities, one of these areas of your life may suffer. There are polite ways to say no, including “Thank you for inviting me but I will not be available that day,” or “I appreciate you thinking of me for this project but I already have other obligations.” A simple, “No thank you” is also completely acceptable.
Maintain your healthy habits- The activities and habits that help you maintain your physical and mental health the rest of the year are still important during the holiday season.
Eat balanced, healthy meals.
Include regular physical activity in your daily routine. Consider adding physical activities like a Turkey Trot (5K run or walk on Thanksgiving), sledding, ice skating, or a walk around the neighborhood to look at holiday displays as a new tradition.
Have a healthy snack before holiday meals so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
Get plenty of sleep.
Try deep-breathing exercises, meditation or yoga.
Avoid excessive tobacco, alcohol and drug use. If you are in recovery, consider attending a meeting or contacting your sponsor.
Be aware of how the information culture can produce undue stress, and adjust the time you spend reading news and social media as you see fit.
While everyone can feel the strain of the holiday season or experience some of the effects of seasonal changes, in some people (approximately three percent of the general population) it can also lead to clinically significant symptoms collectively known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). People who have a history of mood disorders, such as depression or bipolar disorder are at even greater risk (approximately 10 to 25 percent, depending on the diagnosis). Symptoms of SAD include feeling down, sad, or listless most of the day almost every day, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, low energy, changes in eating habits and subsequently weight, difficulty concentrating, oversleeping, feeling hopeless, helpless, guilty, or having thoughts or not wanting to live anymore. If you notice these changes in yourself or someone you care about it is important to increase your social support, take steps to focus on self-care, and strongly consider reaching out for mental health care. If you do not already have providers in place, you can reach out to SAMHSA or 988 in the United States (for international resources click here)