“2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and five years in April.”
2020 has been the year that taught us all about R0, cytokine storms, panic buying, telehealth, and social distancing. Some of us stayed home and held dance parties over Zoom, home schooled children, and developed brand loyalty to sanitizing products. Others donned masks, gloves, face shields, boot covers, and gowns to treat COVID-19 patients. We saw the gaps in the social safety net and the divide along economic, racial, and political lines growing. To say that 2020 was a year that will not soon be forgotten is an understatement.
As the year draws to a close it’s natural to take stock of our triumphs, shortcomings, and hopes for the future. I think this post by @thejuliarock is important to keep in mind as you’re scrolling through social media feeds, watching the news, or even just reflecting on your own. Personally, I know that I thought I would do more writing, art making, reading, hiking, and running. Unfortunately, the stress of working in person through the surge in New York, higher case loads in the mental health wave of the pandemic, and breaking my arm this fall meant a lot more Netflix than I had planned. One of the biggest lessons that I’ve had to learn this year is that I have to walk the walk when it comes to self-compassion, not just talking the talk. Self-compassion means giving yourself the same benefit of the doubt, reasonable expectations, and permission to be human that you would give to a friend, family member, client, supervisee, student, mentee, or stranger.
One of the tools that I started using, and have made a resolution to continue using is the Remente app (available for iOS and Android, free with upgraded features for subscribers). The app allows you to chart your moods, set goals, keep track of tasks, and write journal entries. One of the more robust tools is the Life Assessment which allows you to reflect on wellness across the domains of Love & Relationships, Health & Fitness, Career & Education, Personal Development, Family, Friends & Social Life, Fun & Recreation, and Finances. This is useful as visual representation of areas that might require more of our attention and a reminder that there isn’t only one definition of success. You don’t need an app to do this kind of assessment, however. There are a number of printable versions:
Life Balance Assessment and Action Planning Guide
You can also design your own wellness wheel to check in at regular intervals. You can make small ones in your planner or notebook by tracing a round object like a coffee cup. Divide the circle into sections, using the categories in this post as a guide or create your own based on your values and priorities. Assign each section a color, texture, pattern, or other visual marker and fill it in to represent your level of satisfaction with that area of life. Reflect on factors that may be contributing to your current circumstances and set an intention for area to improve. For example, if your Friends & Social Life need more attention you might schedule a video chat with a friend or meet up for hot cocoa outdoors.
Resolutions are popular around this time of year. While some of us are good at keeping them, many fall by the wayside before the month is out. If you decide to make a resolution this year or just want to set a goal, you want to be SMART about it. The acronym SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. Goals should be clear, limited to a realistic scope, and have a deadline. Rather than saying, “I want to read more in the New Year,” I might say that “I want to read one book per month in 2021.” The first version was vague. What is more? How will I know if I’m doing more now than before? The second version is much clearer because I have defined what “more” is and I will be able to know if I have achieved that by the end of the year.
It is also important to write goals using language that encourages approach rather than avoidance. A new study comparing participants who wrote goals in approach language (language that tells them to do something, such as eat five fruits per day) completed their goals 58.9 percent of the time compared to participants who wrote goals in avoidance language (language that tells them not to do something, such as stop eating candy) who completed their goals 47.1 percent of the time. While the end result of either goal would be losing weight by improving diet, the As psychologist Per Calbring explains, "You cannot erase a behavior, but you can replace it with something else."
There are plenty of ways to keep track of your goals. I tend to be of the mindset that if it isn’t written down, by hand, then it isn’t going to happen. Physically crossing something off of my to do list is also incredibly satisfying. Even though I feel comfortable with technology and use it for most of my scheduling, correspondence, and day-to-day functioning, I work best when I use a paper appointment book (you can see my cat, Oscar, helping me with this post). There is no right or wrong format, however, the version I went with shows the whole week and has appointments in 15 minute increments from 7 AM to 9 PM. That lets me plan out larger activities into smaller chunks and schedule breaks which I need to do to keep on track.
What helps you keep you focused and motivated? What are your goals for 2021? Let me know in the comments below.